Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
