Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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