i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize