you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize