I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
