I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
