Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
