she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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