I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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