I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
