my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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