I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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