You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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