Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
