mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize