I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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