Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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