so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize