STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
