that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
