so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you made out with another girl for some wings
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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