He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
