so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
