I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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