You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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