So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
