he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
