all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
