There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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