Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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