My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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