he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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