i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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