Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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