i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
