Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
