im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
