He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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