So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
whose parrot is this?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
