i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
time to smoke my breakfast
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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