I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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