Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
