I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize