I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
