you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
