You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
