Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
