Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
