if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
