her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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