Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont even know how to be here
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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