so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
