I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
