Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
