"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
