Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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