That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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